no demands

Love is to give; not be concerned of just receiving.

Love is not to be rude or self seeking, but rather selfless and conceding.

True love yields its rights and places no demands.

I wish I could say I always lived that way.

Outside our bedroom door is a framed heart. Inside are the words from 1 Corinthians 13. Perhaps, you know it as the ‘love’ chapter.

Early on in our marriage, I would often stop before entering the room and read it. It is on the days I wasn’t feeling it; I needed to pause and slowly read its words before retiring into the bedroom for the evening. The marriage bed should be a place to retreat. There restoration, relaxation, recreation, and release should happen. It is not a place for fights to ensue, arguments continued, or cold shoulders given.

Perhaps, like me, you might just need to stop and repeat a few of the famous words from that chapter over and over and over again: “Love is patient; love is kind.”

And this is not just for marriage but in all relationships we should be patient and kind.

Sometimes the holiday season can bring the worst of us out. Don’t let it. Use this time to not have demands but to concede in love in all you do. When you do, you will…

be.the.church

If you need a little more encouragement on how to love with no demands, check out these previous entries posted earlier this year:

https://bethechurch.home.blog/2019/08/31/it-is-the-end-of-be-kind-to-humankind/

https://bethechurch.home.blog/2019/11/30/the-royal-treatment/

https://bethechurch.home.blog/2019/11/09/can-men-and-women-be-friends/

southern harm

In the south of the United States, there is often a fake facade thick with sweetness covering under tones of rudeness, insincerity, and untruthfulness.

Southern mamas and their daughters are best at this.

What comes across first as southern charm, often really is southern harm.*

Selfishness, self-centeredness, and sabotage reign in the heart of a Southern Belle. Intentional or not, that is what happens when you are around those who want what they want when they want it and do not consider others.

The Bible is very clear how we should yield our rights. And as a Christian, a southerner’s ‘bless your heart’ phrase should never be in your vocabulary because the simple fact that someone might interpret it with a negative connotation means you are not being the light that you were called to be or Christian you say you are.

I have said it before and I will say it again: Feelings saved are always better than being right.

Here’s some previous posts where I said that coined phrase:

https://bethechurch.home.blog/2019/11/29/inside-jokes/

https://bethechurch.home.blog/2019/11/15/kind-and-sweet/

https://bethechurch.home.blog/2019/04/09/what-does-god-look-like/

https://bethechurch.home.blog/2019/01/13/folded-over-chips/

Let me say it again: Feelings saved are always better than being right.

Or having your own way.

Or not yielding your rights.

A little sugar can go a long way and I am not referring to the overly sweet southern charm dripping with half truths and insincerity that truly becomes southern harm.

Don’t be fake in your hospitality, be sincere in what you do and say. That is how you can…

be.the.church

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31.30

*In an earlier post this year, I also coined the phrase: southern charm is often southern harm. Check it out to read more about what that includes: https://bethechurch.home.blog/2019/05/26/lessons-from-a-neglected-mother-in-law/

till death us do part

I read an article of famous last words and the question was asked: What will your last words be?

I recently chocked and really thought I was going to die. In those frightful moments, here were some of my thoughts:

I felt sorry for family that would come to find me.
And, I wondered if I had lived my life well enough to please God and further the kingdom.

We don’t like to think about our end but often live as if we are invincible. However, the statistics do show that 100% of us are destined to die one day in the future barring Christ’s return and it might be sooner than we think.

What if we look at each day as if it could be our last?

What if we have words prepared if last words need to be spoken?

If you are married, what if you really live out the vow till death us do part?

Of course, we can’t live in a world of ‘what ifs’ but, we should live loudly knowing tomorrow may never come.

You might be asking yourself what does living loudly mean?

Well, sharing our faith for starters. Being a daily light to those in your circle of influence with humor always helps too.

Laughing that type of hardy belly laugh that is loud and contagious is such a great tool not only for your inner well-being but for all those around lucky enough to engage in that laughter with you.

My mom always said: “Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today.” She was usually referring to chores and wanting to motivate (or rather control us) into doing what she wanted when she wanted it done, but the words stuck to me like glue.

What if we didn’t procrastinate and got that project done?

What if we took that travel plan and made it come to reality?

But more importantly than fulfilling our hearts’ desires: What if we visited the lonely or hurting instead of talking about it?

And on that note, think about how Christ came with a purpose and lived it out loudly for all the world to see. That’s what Christmas is all about! His life for ours. What a sacrifice! What a gift! What a reason to live till death does part you from this world.

Challenge yourself to ask some ‘what if’ questions and then go do the outlandish, love more aggressively, and be faithful to those you have been blessed to share life with.

Life is too short to live with regrets, but it will be so very sad if when your time comes, you are not ready to meet your maker.

So, go think about some last words to have in your back pocket and prepare your heart now so you can indeed hear these blessed words upon your arrival into heaven: “Well done, good and faithful servant, enter the kingdom I have prepared for you.” (Matthew 25.34)

I am glad I have some more time to try and do just that. Not sure how much as I am definitely on the downhill slant of my time here on earth. May it motivate me to love loudly, boldly, and take every opportunity to plant seeds as I daily strive to witness.

If you have never accepted Jesus as your Savior, I encourage you to say this prayer now and you indeed will be ready for eternity for this is the true meaning of Christmas and why Christ came:

“Lord Jesus, I trust in You. I know You died and rose again so I could be saved by the giving of Your life in ransom for mine. Thank you for dying for me. Thank you for forgiving me of my sin past, present, and future. Thank you for your grace and mercy that sets me free. And by acknowledging you as my Lord and Savior, I know one day I will be in heaven with you forever. Amen”

Tell someone if you said this prayer for the first time or let me know in the comments how I can support or pray for you in your faith walk this side of heaven.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3-5-6 NIV

Then you too will…

be.the.church

Here’s some previous posts that can help remind you how to live loudly and boldly: https://bethechurch.home.blog/2019/12/06/pray-for-the-waiter/

be a consultant

Happy Christmas, all!

Change comes quickly especially if you have children and they grow up. I can only imagine all that was in Mary’s heart as Jesus grew.

I have heard it said: days move by slowly, but years so quickly. Last year on December 24, I made a commitment to completely move to be in a consulting role with our brood. In general, people are quick to offer opinions or advice often unsolicited. I don’t want to be that guy to my kids.

Diligent was a good word to have as a theme as I not only embarked on posting a blog entry daily but decided to be diligent in not giving my two cents unless asked or prefaced with: “Would you like my thoughts or opinion on that?” And if the answer was: “No thanks!” Then I must stick to no words!

It wasn’t always easy and I am not sure I fully succeeded, but a year has passed and here I am already thinking about the next theme word and reflecting on how well I did on the last this past year.

Don’t let this season pass you by without some time of reflection. Take some time to think about what you want to live out this next year.

And as far as relationships, my vote is with most, it is best if we just be a consultant waiting in the wings when called on rather than speaking up when not asked to.

Be reliable, available, and willing, but to…

be.the.church

that means sometimes you must wait to consult.

“…make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and mind your own business.” I Thessalonians 4.11

And one last thing, if you are on the receiving end, remember this: advice is to be given not necessarily taken.

Weigh the words.

Seek the Lord.

Then, you decide what applies to you as you spit and chew.

Chew on that which is fitting and spit out the rest you don’t need or won’t use, but be gracious through the process whether you are the one giving or receiving advice. There is wisdom in Godly counsel but consulting with God is always the wisest choice. Let Him be the main consultant in your life.

t’was the night before Christmas

T’was the night before Christmas,

God glanced over the earth.

He looked to and fro,

All over it’s girth.

They missed it again He said with a sigh,

A heavy heart and a tear in His eye.

I gave them My Son,

So they could be free.

My greatest gift,

To them from Me.

They traded Him in,

For a man in red.

A little tree,

And horse drawn sled.

How do I save them,

And make them see.

My love is complete,

My grace is free.

How do I help them,

When all they know

Is a talking snowman,

And a box with a bow.

Maybe next year,

they will stop and see.

The biggest gift of Christmas,

Is the little child from Me.

~ author unknown

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be d xx called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9.7

When you let others know why Christ came, you will…

be.the.church

we need presence

I have come across numerous kids who may not even realize they need another’s presence over presents. They will thrive with human touch, but sadly so many don’t get what they deserve – namely put a loving touch from loving parents or hugs on a regular basis. Check out yesterday’s post to learn more: https://bethechurch.home.blog/?p=1940

Give your presence this season!

Show the world how you give your time and presence so they can see you…

be.the.church

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2:3-4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

safety in your arms

Do you like hugs? I do. I definitely desire receiving love from physical touch. One of our kids is too, must have gotten that from me. Other children and spouse not so much, but physical touch is needed even if not desired to be reciprocated. Hug anyway.

When the kids were young we tried to institute a good morning hug and a hug at night policy. Did you know children deprived of physical touch can physically stop growing even if given a healthy nutritious diet?

How many hugs do you think are necessary to fuel and refill depleted love tanks?

The experts then said 8. Nowadays it is 12. According to the family therapist Virginia Satir: “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”*

And the longer the hug the better.

Studies have shown that a twenty second hug reduces the harmful and physical effects of stress, including its impact on your blood pressure and heart rate.

Think of other things hugs can do.

Hugs heal the loneliness in someone’s heart.

Touching another lovingly can add in healing of sickness and disease too.

Depression and anxiety can lessen.

Hugs can even induce a peaceful night’s sleep.

Laughter has the same effective and releases the same hormone in the brain.

So, go ahead and laugh or hug. It will be good for your outlook and will look good on you too. And this time of year is an easy excuse to hug for the holidays.

Bottom line is physical touch is good for our survival. It says I am needed, I am included, and we find safety in another’s arms. That’s how God intended us to live in community and a good ole fashioned bear hug says just that.

But, do take note of this: “His huge outstretched arms protect you – under them you’re perfectly safe; His arms fend off all harm. Fear nothing – not wild wolves in the night, not flying arrows in the day, Not disease that prowls through the darkness, not disaster that erupts at high noon. Even though others succumb all around, drop like flies right and left, no harm will even graze you. You’ll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance, watch the wicked turn into corpses. Yes, because God’s your refuge, the High God your very own home, Evil can’t get close to you, harm can’t get through the door. He ordered His angels to guard you wherever you go. If you stumble, they’ll catch you; their job is to keep you from falling. You’ll walk unharmed among lions and snakes, and kick young lions and serpents from the path. “If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God, “I’ll get you out of any trouble. I’ll give you the best of care if you’ll only get to know and trust Me.” Psalm 91.4-14 MSG

Good passage to remind us to stick close to God. He is our refuge and there is safety in His arms.

Yes, Lord Jesus, there is safety in your arms. Help us run to you and be filled. Remind us to help others be filled too and a prolonged hug can do just that. Help us, Father, trust in You. Guide us Holy Spirit in everything we do. Thank You, Jesus, for coming to earth as a babe in human form. Help us, God, in all we do so we can…

be.the.church

By the way, Hug Day is exactly one month away on January 21 so mark your calendars. But, of course you don’t have to wait till then to dole out hugs liberally and often!

drop the blanket part 2

The Rest of Linus’s Story from ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’

To read part one, click here: https://bethechurch.home.blog/2019/12/14/fear-not-or-the-moment-linus-drops-the-blanket/

“After the epic, blanket-dropping recitation of Scripture given by Linus in response to Charlie Brown’s quest for meaning, he picks the blanket back up. Isn’t that anti-climactic?

A few days ago, I* wrote down some thoughts about a beautiful moment that has been hidden in plain sight for 50 years in ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas.’

As a pastor, I am thrilled at the encouragement it has given, and as a former literature teacher, I am thrilled that it has started a firestorm of film analysis! Many of you have pointed out that at the end of the scene, Linus picks the blanket back up, and have openly wondered why.

After the epic, blanket-dropping recitation of Scripture given by Linus in response to Charlie Brown’s quest for meaning, he picks the blanket back up.

Isn’t that anti-climactic?

Why would Linus pick that old security back up after so boldly proclaiming an end to fear? Why does he leave the stage with that security blanket still in his hand?

We first must realize that we all carry that same blanket.

Just like Linus, we may stand tall in a moment of faith and conviction, a moment when Scripture hidden in our heart comes to life, and all else is flung aside as we experience and proclaim the true freedom and security that only Jesus can give.

But at some point, out of habit, we reach down and pick that thing right back up. Faith, while powerful, is also delicate.

Linus clearly knows the truth, and clearly proclaims the truth. The knowledge is there and the wisdom is there and the passion is there. So why does he pick it back up?

I think the answer is strikingly clear. It is because we all do the same thing.

We know. We feel. We proclaim.

Yet we gaze in the mirror one morning to find that tattered old blanket draped over our shoulder yet again. And we realize that we have become so used to it being there that we hardly even noticed it.

But that is not where this blanket story ends.

The show ends with the Peanuts gang not just singing, but clearly and unquestionably singing in worship. Even the musical style at this point is different from anything else heard previously.

The obvious song choice here could have been ‘O Christmas Tree,’ the notes of which have already been playing gently in the background.

But the focus is no longer the tree. The focus has become bigger than the tree. The focus is Jesus.

With this new focus, the kids instead slide effortlessly into “Hark the Herald Angels Sing, Glory to the Newborn King,” and what we are now witnessing is essentially an impromptu worship service.

But before any of this happens, Linus parts with that blanket yet again, and lays it down for good at the base of that beautiful Christmas tree, just as we should strive to not just lay our blanket down just anywhere, but leave it forever behind us at the foot of that cross, for our own good and the good of others.

Linus and friends have moved from speaking truth and hearing truth into a deeper place of worship, where they finally respond to that truth, much like those shepherds who were instructed to “fear not” so very long ago.

It is here at the end of the show that Linus lays that blanket down yet again, and this time? He doesn’t look back.”

That is what the true meaning of Christmas is all about. Christ came to fulfill His purpose; we need to seek to fulfill ours in faith expecting the impossible and never looking back all the while worshipping the King of kings and the Lord of lords. Amen – so be it. Now, go help others understand all that has been read as you daily strive to…

be.the.church

“Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose.” Matthew 5.17

*written by Jason Soroski

As a writer and musician, Jason Soroski strives to communicate in a way that is insightful, meaningful, relevant, and mindful of the small things that we may otherwise overlook in our everyday lives. He effectively taps into his experiences as a worship pastor, classroom teacher, husband, and homeschooling father of five to relate poignant stories from real-life experiences. Jason holds an M.Ed. from Missouri Baptist University, has been featured in various print and web publications, and currently resides in Houston, TX. Read more from Jason at his blog The Way I See It.

Published: December 21, 2015

https://www.crosswalk.com/special-coverage/christmas-and-advent/drop-the-blanket-the-rest-of-linus-s-story-from-a-charlie-brown-christmas.html

don’t forget the past

It was 1963. The year my sibling was born. Also the year JFK was shot, hurricane Flora hit the Caribbean while a tsunami hit Bangladesh and earthquakes shook Libya and Yugoslavia, Alcatraz closed, Beatlemania was on the rise, the first woman went to space, the great train robbery happened in the U.K., and the list can go on and on.

The thing I want to focus on today so we don’t forget the past is the fact that the Montgomery buses were desegregated and black passengers could legally take any seat on the city’s buses. May we this be remembered, celebrated, and not forgotten!

And bravo to Rosa Parks who began the movement with her defiance of taking a seat in the ‘white’ section. Later in life she was brutally attacked and robbed in her apartment which infuriates me as she was such a woman of bravery and symbol for peace.

Read this article about an act of kindness done to her and worth repeating:

https://abc7chicago.com/society/little-caesars-founder-mike-ilitch-quietly-paid-rosa-parks-rent-for-years/1756521/

Martin Luther, Jr. was among those sitting on the newly integrated bus. The year was 1956. If you didn’t know, it had been a long year of boycotting buses from December 5, 1955 – December 20, 1956.

Here’s something else that happened in 1620. 102 Pilgrims and 30 crew from the Mayflower landed on Plymouth Rock.

A few hours down the road and a few centuries later in 1891, the 1st game of basketball was played by 18 students in Springfield, Massachusetts.

Some other random things that happened on this day:

1913 – crossword puzzle printed in the NY World
1914 – 1st feature length silent film comedy featuring Charlie Chaplin
1929 – the 1st group hospital insurance plan was offered in Dallas, Texas
1933 – Shirley Temple at only age 5 is signed to a studio contract with Fox Films

1937 – The first full-length animated feature film and the earliest in the Walt Disney Animated Classics series, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”, premieres at the Carthay Circle Theatre
1939 – Adolf Hitler blames Adolf Eichmann responsible for evictions and Jewish immigration
1946 – Earthquake in South Japan, kills 1,086
1948 – State of Eire (formerly Irish Free State) declares its independence
1963 – Johnny Depp was born
1970 Elvis meets US President Richard Nixon in the White House – the image of this meeting is the most requested photo from the entire National Archives
1975 – Madagascar adopts constitution
1987 – Vladimir Titov & Musa Manarov launched
1988 – Vladimir Titov & Musa Manarov return to earth with Chretien – Also, Lockerbie disaster: Pan Am Flight 103 destroyed mid air by a terrorist bomb killing all 258 on board over Scotland
1991 – Soviet Union formally dissolves as 11 of 12 republics sign treaty forming Commonwealth of Independent States
1995 – The city of Bethlehem passes from Israeli to Palestinian control
2016 – first Indian film to earn $300 million worldwide

It is also the First Day of Winter aka the shortest day of the year.

We need to learn from the past and not forget it.

I love this quote: “It’s said that a wise person learns from his mistakes. A wiser one learns from others’ mistakes. But the wisest person of all learns from others’s successes.” John C. Maxwell

Observe and process. Take and learn then apply to your life. The past can teach us.

Learn from it to help you be better at being the church.

May you never be on the side of discrimination and be grateful for the freedom we have in Christ.

Jesus is the reason for the season and why freedom can reign in our hearts.

Let others know the true meaning of Christmas as you strive to…

be.the.church

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3.28

family: related or relational

I live close to blood but most of my relatives I do not have relationship with. It makes me sad, frustrated, and some days down right angry.

Sad that my offspring don’t know uncles and aunts or cousins their ages that live just across town.

Frustrated that many have turned their back on not just me but anything Godly.

Angry that our “…adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” I Peter 5.8

Not today, Satan! Hands off my extended family! Hands off my kids, neighbors, coworkers, hands off!

This time of year may conjure up sadness because of not having relationship with some you are related to. My advice is simple: Seek the family of God.

Our church family is who I consider our family and it makes sense since we all have been grafted* into God’s. I am so grateful. Let that be the focus now not blood line.

“And this is God’s plan: Both Gentiles and Jews who believe the Good News share equally in the riches inherited by God’s children. Both are part of the same body, and both enjoy the promise of blessings because they belong to Christ Jesus.” Ephesians 3.6

Family: related or relational? What would you choose? I would pick relational every time. Bonus is if you have relationship with the related, but family does not have to be blood.Bottomline is when we offer relationship to others related or not, the prayer is they will see us…

be.the.church

*Here’s more on grafting: “But some of these branches from Abraham’s tree – some of the people of Israel – have been broken off. And you Gentiles, who were branches from a wild olive tree, have been grafted in.

So now you also receive the blessing God has promised Abraham and his children, sharing in the rich nourishment from the root of God’s special olive tree. But you must not brag about being grafted in to replace the branches that were broken off. You are just a branch, not the root. “Well,” you may say, “those branches were broken off to make room for me.” Yes, but remember – those branches were broken off because they didn’t believe in Christ, and you are there because you do believe. So don’t think highly of yourself, but fear what could happen. For if God did not spare the original branches, He won’t spare you either. Notice how God is both kind and severe. He is severe toward those who disobeyed, but kind to you if you continue to trust in His kindness. But if you stop trusting, you also will be cut off. And if the people of Israel turn from their unbelief, they will be grafted in again, for God has the power to graft them back into the tree. You, by nature, were a branch cut from a wild olive tree. So if God was willing to do something contrary to nature by grafting you into His cultivated tree, He will be far more eager to graft the original branches back into the tree where they belong.” Romans 11.17-24

Bond with those grafted into the family of God. So grateful for the body of Christ and my in laws who have loved me well with no bloodline in common. They have spoke loudly into my soul and consistently remind me where our hope and faith come from – the God of heaven and earth. Amen

This season ask yourself who is it I call family? Related or relational is really not important, it is letting them know how important they are to you. If there is someone who has made a difference in your life, take the excuse of Christmas time to tell them. Don’t delay; do it today.