I did a lesson once about being kind then gave out KIND bars to the hearers. It got me thinking how it is good to have reminders to self regulate and bring you back to the simple place of just being kind and sweet. I suggest stocking your pantry with some KIND bars if you need to remind yourself to be kind.
The old saying: ‘you get more with sugar than salt’ is so true.
I have simply said: sugar gets you more than vinegar. In other words, being kind and sweet will take you farther than being mean and un-agreeable.
Of course, I am sure there are many more idioms* with similar wording but all with the same meaning. Not only can you persuade others by being kind but the world just needs more politeness.
So often people want to argue for argument’s sake or just have a disagreeable countenance as they come across confrontational to get their points across. Is it really necessary? Of course not! But often accepted and expected especially when people feel it is the only way to get ahead in the world.
As a society, we are moving more and more away from kindness and politeness. Many believe to get ahead you must have a brash, no nonsense attitude. I disagree.
When a conflict does arise a better approach then forcing the ‘I am right and you are wrong’ viewpoint is to let others ideas be heard. I would even go farther and say you be the last to speak. Take in all the opinions and ideas and gently reveal yours as impartial and impersonal as possible. And although it has been said: ‘oil and water don’t mix’, working together even compromising if need be, will achieve more and you might even be able to be in sync with others even if you don’t completely agree. This will breed balance and harmony within groups. I guarantee it. Sure at times some constructive criticism may be needed but being kind and sweet I believe will yield more positive results than hammering out your opposite position on any particular matter.
I have said it before and will say it again: Feelings saved are always more important than being right. And if you can yield your rights using a little sweetness, I think that will go a long way in relationship building and keeping.
The saying: ‘don’t mix oil with vinegar’ I interpret to mean that sometimes you might just need to remove yourself from disagreeable individuals or resolve to agree to disagree but all the while without being rude or demanding.
Just be kind and sweet. Checking the rudeness at the door helps too.
Benjamin Franklin said it this way: “Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.” So even if you are asking someone to do something they might not like or want to do, being kind and sweet requesting politely maybe even offering to do something in return will yield more positive results than demanding rudely.
If you approach life being nice; people may help when you need it. If you are not, why would they want to bother!
Bottom line is just as simply as the title of this entry: be kind and sweet and apply the golden rule which says: Treat others as you want to be treated. Now that is a maxim* worth following especially as it is found in the Bible –
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Matthew 7:12
When you do, you will…
Look back at this post and enjoy reading some acronyms with the word kind: https://bethechurch.home.blog/2019/10/25/be-kind/
*a maxim motivates (example is the Bibical rule shared above but interesting to note that it is more often known as the ‘golden rule’ and although it is found in many religions and cultures in some form, it is not always connected as a command of God but rather just a way to live in harmony with others)
An idiom, on the other hand, expresses an idea that might not be fully grasped from the words used (example: “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar”)
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