I had some disfunction growing up. Sadly, that is the world today and more often the norm then not. But that didn’t excuse me from my little heart wanting love from my father. Doesn’t ever kid want and deserve this?
When I was in grade school, I was so proud that my parents were not divorced. Most of my classmates were and I genuinely felt sorry for them. Only a few short years later I became one of the statistics too.
What I remember most during that time is being so angry with feelings of betrayal and abandonment. They flooded my soul and did not escape for decades to come. It was baggage I brought into my marriage and baggage I tried to leave behind when I became a parent. I did not want those old cobwebs robbing joy from me or my offspring.
There was a long period of about 3 years that I had virtually no contact with my earthly dad. I was court appointed to live with my mom with no visitation rights for him. Ironically, this was decided when I was 17 and in my senior year of high school about to turn 18 and to head off to college anyway. The divorce proceedings had been going on for 3 long years.
Note to the wise: never (I mean NEVER) bring a child to court and pit them up against their parents no matter what age they may be.
I can literally remember everything about that awful day especially when I was asked to take the stand. Lawyers on both sides were trying to make one parent worse than the other and all I wanted was love from both.
Fast forward with me to present day. Again, I have had no contact with my father for over 3 years, but for a different reason.
He went home to be with the Lord and I so miss him.
One thing about my dad is he was an encourager. He could brighten your day with a little charm and always boost your ego. You could not be down around him as some dumb joke would get you belly laughing even if you heard it 1,000 times before.
But, what I miss most about him is that he loved me well. And when tables were turned and I became the caregiver, he still loved well.
My heart was always filled with gratitude knowing through all the trials and years of separation, my dad still loved me unconditionally with no catch or conditions needing to be met. It was not so with others in my life.
And even though that love was not perfect, it reminds me of a Heavenly Father who is perfect and casts out fear with love (I John 4.18).
There is a missing link to my heart that he daily filled and I so wish another could take that place but there is only room in my heart for my one dad which in turn reminds me there is only room in our hearts for the one and only true God.
I am grateful to have had love from an earthly father which helps me accept love from my Heavenly Father.
So to all the dads out there, Happy Father’s Day!
And please, know: every child (girl or boy) just wants their daddy’s love so go love on those sons and daughters no matter what their age.
And if a dad is not in the picture, moms teach your sons and daughters how much their Heavenly Father loves them so they can know they are complete by His love as no man can love them better than Christ.
Like Aibileen from the movie The Help told Mae Mobley “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”, our girls and boys, no matter what the age (including when they are grown), need to know and believe this too.
Help them see who they are in Christ and how God sees them – as a princess, a beloved bride, a loving daughter or a warrior-prince ready for battle.
“And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory…” Romans 8:17a NLT
And memorize these verses as we need to combat so much negativity this side of heaven…
And when you do, you will…
so much more impact-fully!
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