don’t leave before the cake is cut

Not sure if it is wedding etiquette or not, but in my book I say stay to see the cake cut and eat some too.

It was the third wedding of the month I attended and the second I didn’t have cake. So, I was so looking forward to having some. It was not just eating it, but watching the traditional moment where the newlyweds feed each other symbolizing commitment to each other to privide for on another. As they show love and affection, this should be sweet, romantic gesture. If they choose to smash in the face then we see a display of male dominance and playfulness. However they choose to eat the cake, it is a moment not to be missed. But, I missed it!

My spouse, who wasn’t planning on eating cake anyways, was ready to go. I yielded my rights and conceded knowing what the week ahead looked like but, silently I wanted to take a cupcake or wait to see the cake cut so I could try a piece even if neither of us weight wise need any extra calories. (Shh, I didn’t just say that!)

We left with ‘let them eat cake’ ringing in my mind.

What’s the point?

Well, it is not to refer to the times where rich French did not understand the depravity of the peasants and said this callous statement in ignorance. But, rather a reminder of taking in every moment of that perfectly planned wedding including what the cake would look like and taste.

Often we think about our time and what we need to do next, but for one day it is their time and you were invited because they thought you were an important part of their lives.


stay for the cake

and the last dance

and the send off

and whatever else takes place before they head out.

If we were created for community and God Himself delights in marriage then shouldn’t we have the decency to stay til the end or at least to have some cake?

Think if it was your day or your child’s. It is only proper to let them have their cake and eat it too!

So, my advice to you is: don’t leave before the cake is cut!

If you do, you might make the bride a wee bit sad as we did the day we left before the cake was cut.

“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4.3

When you do, others will see you…

Ecclesiastes 3 talks about how there is a season and time for everything. Do you think that can mean staying for the time of cake cutting? I sure do.

Since we didn’t have any cake that day. I just may have to make one!

Just for fun here is a recipe for ‘hurry up and wait coconut cake.’* Since I missed cake at the wedding, I may as well wait to eat this one because it has to rest 3 days in the frig before consuming. I love the number 3. It reminds me of our God’s triune presence. And this cake reminds me of Christ’s 3 days in the tomb. So why not wait 3 more days after missing cake at wedding 3! Let me know what you think if you try it.


1 yellow cake mix

3 eggs

1 stick butter or margarine

3/4 water

16oz sour cream

12oz frozen coconut, thawed and drained

1.5 cups whipped topping

1 cup sugar

Blend together sour cream, sugar, and coconut.

Separate 1 cup of the mixture and place in a separate bowl. Refrigerate both portions overnight.

The next day, prepare cake mix according to package directions and bake in two 8″ or 9″ round cake pans.

After cakes have cooled completely, use a serrated knife to split both layers. This is important for this recipe! Often this step is ignored because of the extra mess or just being lazy, but it really is essential for this cake. Just give it your best shot and don’t worry if it isn’t perfect. The Cool Whip will cover a multitude of crumbs.

Place one layer of the four on a cake stand or cake saver that has a lid. Using the larger portion of coconut mixture, spread some of the  mixture on top of the first layer. Add the second layer and continue adding layers and spreading coconut mixture on top until you’ve used all four layers.

Mix the whipped topping with the reserved 1 cup coconut mixture and frost the top and sides of cake with it.

Now here comes the hard part. Cover the cake and leave it in the refrigerator for three days before serving.


© 2019 aclearberry all rights reserved

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