Gary Chapman discovered the five love ‘languages’ after 12 years of counseling couples.
He went back and looked at his notes and saw a pattern for the responses of when people did not feel loved. And often it was just the other partner didn’t know how to speak the right love ‘language’ to their spouse.
The last few blog entries have touched on two of the five ‘languages’ (gifts and physical touch). Let’s expound on words of affirmation today.
We all need encouragement but a person who receives love this way as their primary source is more in tune to words and sensitive to them.
So, we need to be conscious of the words we choose.
What kind of things do you think a person who needs words of affirmation longs to hear?
“Good-job.”, “Thank you.”, and “I appreciate you.” are on the top of the list for sure but, what else? (Feel free to comment below so we all can add more words of affirmation to our everyday vocabulary.)
Words of affirmation are verbal compliments or words of appreciation. They are powerful communicators of love.
This is an impactful tool we can begin practicing within our family and in life in general with those we come in contact with on a daily basis.
Lets really practice being encouragers.
I employ you:
- Go give sincere compliments like: “You look wonderful.”
And hint to the sometimes clueless men: your brides, daughters, mothers, sisters, aunts, etc. desire to hear sincere compliments from you. So let this be our motto:
Say encouraging words to inspire. Words are very important so use the words you speak so they can be received as love.
I believe our words are influential to everyone regardless if this is the primary love ‘language’ or not.
If you need words of affirmation and know this is your primary love ‘language’, you need to tell those in your life that words are important to you.
Don’t just hope or wish someone would tell you the things you need to hear, tell them so they’ll be aware.
Make sure you are careful with the words you choose to say too and the tone you choose to say them is just as crucial. Don’t forget the non-verbal cues may communicate the opposite of your words so be aware of your body language and facial expressions. Make sure they match the uplifting words you are trying to convey.
Speaking the love ‘language’ of words of affirmation also incorporates sending love notes or texts or emails for no special reason.
Regardless of the primary love ‘language’ one speaks, it is so important to hear and for us to say:
“I value you.”, “I love you.”, “I appreciate you.”, etc.
Some you come in contact with may not often hear those words or may not even recall when the last time someone physically spoke them to them. Don’t let this happen to anyone in your circle of influence.
Practice sincere complementing others for no reason, say “I’m proud of you.”, “Thank you.”, and “You are loved.” often.
Hearing praise or positive reactions to something accomplished will speak volumes too.
Someone did a good job, tell them! Remember:
Hearing the words “I appreciate you.” is impactful.
So look for ways to get in the habit of speaking words of affirmation and it will become a natural habit. Who knows, others may begin to emulate your example.
God does and is going to use us to literally speak life into others’ souls. Be His voice extended by using words of affirmation to be encouraging to all you meet and greet.
That is how you can daily…
Put a smile on another’s face as you speak life giving words of affirmation and encouragement.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4.29
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